According to current research, the only people who don’t experience regret are sociopaths, very young children, and people with serious brain damage. There are three ways to respond to regret. We could ignore and suppress regret but that’s leads us to delusion. Ruminating over regret is highly destructive and traps us. Or we can consider feelings of regrets with compassion, looking for the lesson that will help us move forward.
How can understanding regret help us make better choices?
This video with author Dan Pink goes through the findings of his book “The Power of Regret”. He shows how there are four types of regret that have the most significance to us. Regrets around building a foundation for life, acting with boldness, moral decisions, and regretting the loss of relational connections. By understanding how these regrets reveal what we value, they can teach what it means to live a meaningful life.
Here are three action steps that you can take:
- Write down your regrets. Try to identify what caused you to make that choice without judgement. Writing out our regrets or sharing them with a loved one helps to take away the harmful power they can have in our lives.
- Identify what those situations and regrets have to teach you. Both positive and negative feelings are information about our experiences. Tuning in to them as teachers, gives us vital tools for making better choices going forward.
- Share what you’ve learned with others. The lessons gleaned from regret can not only benefit you but those around you. Sharing your experiences can be an invaluable gift to give others, especially younger generations.